Sunday, 8 May 2011

Unsolicited Condescending Health Advice

Image found on the Curvy Nerd

I suppose one of the side effects of gaining minor popularity on the internet is the exposure to all sorts of people. Some people mistake blogging, making youtube videos, or tweeting as their personal invitation into your life. In a way it is a sort of ticket to the show but is not and never will be an all inclusive backstage pass.

Recently on youtube I received a RANDOM email from a woman who mistook me for someone who not only asked for her opinion regarding my weight but valued it. She took the time to send, what she imagined, a well intentioned, thoughtful email that would surely be the key to cracking the code to my obesity and impending death. ::perma eyeroll::

Ladies and gentlemen, I present Unsolicited Condescending Health Advice


You may get upset with me, but I hope you don't. Please, please, please, make every effort to lose weight to become lean. This is not about appearance, but truly about your health. You are still so young. I have family that are nurses and doctors and some of the stories they have talked about concerning all the complications people suffer due to being overweight, is heartbreaking. As my cousin who's a doctor once said, "look around next time you're out at the mall or wherever, how many obese people that are elderly do you see? Practically none because they either die young, or are too sick to be out. How many overweight people do you see obviously walking in pain, limping, using a wheelchair, a cane, etc. " Some of the stories he has told of the complications patients suffer due to being overweight, is so incredibly sad. This is not about fighting a fight to be accepted as being fat, it should be a fight to realize what fat does to your body, especially as you age. Don't throw your life and health away for food. You CAN change your entire body and health with nothing more than changing your diet. I came upon your video by accident, and when I saw how beautiful you were, it saddened me to think of what will happen as you get older if you don't lose weight. I hope you reconsider what you're doing to your life, it really can affect every aspect of it. Take care and best of luck and health.

This post isn't about whether the author of this email is right or wrong about risks associated with being overweight. What peeved me off is that she assumed that I would care about her opinion, the cheek! People might think a person who offers advice like this are good intentioned, but I beg to differ. Emails such as these have little to do with the well being of the recipient but more about the author's hero complex. Their desire or need to feel relevant and offer life altering factoids derived from their superior knowledge. She clearly knows more than I do about my personal health, my personal fitness, my OWN diet. The writer of this email is a woman in her mid 50's, and on the top of her to-do list on Mother's Day was to potentially save a stranger's life. REALLY? Hey lady, its not that I haven't seen the news or read the studies, I have heard it ALL, multiple times. Being "lean" is just not a priority of mine. ::smacks forehead::

Unsolicited advice is RARELY received well regardless of the topic. FACT! My reaction to this has little to do with my sensitivity about my weight but my sensitivity to people not minding their own damn business. I simply responded to the email with a succinct " Thank you for your concern". People who draft emails like this feel totally justified in sending crap like this out and if I tried to ask her to look a little deeper and question her own motives for pressing "send", I would have just been labeled an angry delusional fattie. Bottom line, she had no interest in helping she wanted to feel important, poor dear.


  1. I think you look very beautiful indeed, you strike me as a fit looking person, I would not see you and assume that you have a sedentary lifestyle.

  2. I am by no means the pinnacle of physical fitness but my lifestyle is not sedentary. I am big but active( these past few week I could be more active sure) but typically I am a bike riding, water aerobics taking, cardio four times a week fool. The woman is clueless about me or my lifestlye. I am overweight so she assumed on the road to early death. Many people would see me and assume I live a sedentary life, I am fine with that, that's not really my problem

  3. Hehe I love water aerobics, but I have been avoiding it because I haven't found aneasy way to get the chlorine out of my locks!

  4. The best way to get chlorine out of your locs is to avoid it from getting it there in the first place :)
    To reduce it from getting into your locs it helps to completely saturate the hair shaft with water. If the follicle has water in it already it leaves little room for the chlorine to be soaked up. You can also put in leave in conditioner right before swimming.

  5. Geez, I don't even know what to say! Being "public" opens us up to the opinions of everyone, but it's also a way to build community and express yourself. I wish there was a way to filter out the need for people, because you have a blog or something, to feel as if they have a right to say anything to you. Yes, you're "public", but if someone doesn't enjoy what you have to say or who you are, then they can click on another website.