Friday, 6 May 2011

A Fat Chick Who is Liked By Guys

Gansta Greeting Cards from Farewell Paperie

The Village Voice recently ran an article entitled "Guys Who Like Fat Chicks". I am sure it was an eye opener for many people. Reading terms like Fat Admirer (FA) and bi-sizual, clearly must have left some readers scratching their heads, contemplating their own preferences and evaluating their own biases against men who date larger women.

The reactions to the article were varied but the majority of people were just over the moon with excitement that a main stream media outlet covered the topic of men who not only date but exclusively prefer bigger women. I, as with almost everything, took issue with certain aspects of the article. One thing that really struck a nerve with me was that the article totally glossed over the fact that these "guys" are considered "freaks" for their preference because of how our culture totally devalues and demonizes fat women. I suppose my issue is not with the article itself but with the general attitude of SOME men who identify themselves as oppressed/closeted FAs. HELLO, try being a fat woman, ffs. Time and time again, these men whinge about how hard it is to "come to terms with" being attracted to fat women. Admitting to family and friends that they have fat partners and then equating their struggle to that of a gay person having to hide their sexuality. I don't mean to minimize anyone's experience here (well maybe just a bit) but please don't expect ME as a fat woman to give you some sort of prize for having the "guts" to hold my hand in public or to introduce me to your mother. Society deems people that look like me as one of the lowest forms of life and YOU are the brave one??? Really. REALLY ?? (OMG I am derailing into angry fat person land again) Let's get back on track, Guys heart fatties, right

I, for one, did not consider any of this to be breaking news. I am a woman, who happens to be fat and some men have found/find me attractive. I am totally aware there are groups of people that whole heartedly believe women over 130 lbs should just pack it up and quit life. I know there are people who believe only unsuccessful men who "can't do any better" date overweight women. The internet also taught me that men date fatties because we are easier, have low self esteem and are easy to control. (I am pretty sure my boyfriend could testify to the contrary, I can be quite difficult ::blushes::)

I have dated men who are all over the female body preference spectrum. Men who traditionally have only dated thin women, men who aren't too fussed about size, and then men who exclusively date bigger girls. I won't lie and say there aren't differences between being intimate with a man who LOVES fat and one who simply tolerates it (I have spoken about this before in my video "Real Men Love Bellies") but at the end of the day it's about not just being an object for the sexy time. I am not just looking to be LIKED or for my fat to be the object of your admiration. I aim to be a respected, adored and cherished partner who also stimulates my partner's loins. LOL.

I could talk about this for hours but I need to get some sleep. Check out the article on The Village Voice and let me know what you think. And if anyone asks, no my boyfriend is not a fat admirer, he is a nicole admirer, just the way I like it :)


  1. I totally agree...a guy has to like a woman for who she is...not because she's part of one demographic or another!

  2. thanks @kazul
    @saretta, i dont discount that there has to be sexual attraction, i take no issue with men who appreciate fat, it just shouldnt be the only thing they dig about a woman. objectification is not awesome.

  3. I like your post and you're right, it's not something new. Can't we just appreciate love and leave it at that? I don't want someone to date me just because I'm skinny just as a light skin woman probably doesn't want a potential mate to be attracted to her just because she's light skin. You date someone because they make you happy and they're worthy of your affection. To me, it's a not really a compliment..I agree, objectification is not the bees knees.